Phone Lines
by vvrules21
Summary: Matthew is an employee at a suicidal hotline, who ironically has his own problems with no one to relate to. That is until he gets a call from a strange man claiming to be in an 'unawesome' situation similar to his own. With a blind date coming up, Matthew is having trouble coming to terms with his feelings for this broken man. PruCan, GerIta, AusHun. Rating will go up. GxM. Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys! This is just an idea that came to me the other day and ive been mulling it over for the past two days. I just loved the whole angsty, but sweet and cute idea of it! Anyway i hope you guys enjoy!_

_Monotonous, invisible, lonely, depressing, dreary, sad, dull…_

Words that blare along with his alarm at 6:30 in the morning. They dance and tease him as his own personal tormenters, pulling at his heartstrings and jabbing him with pointed insults. Even when he stares blankly into his reflection with white foam from his toothpaste dripping down his face, he could still hear unbearable words that were accurate as they were sharp. Matthew wasn't a morning person.

His morning routine consisted of nothing unordinary, just hygienic procedures such as showering and brushing his teeth. His favorite thing to do after he was dressed was to make pancakes topped with a heavy layer of Canadian maple syrup. Music sometimes would be playing from his cell phone, just to make his silent mornings songful.

It would be 7:10 by the time he finished his food and searching for his red messenger bag. He wasn't disorganized, just forgetful. Once he had the strap around his shoulder and his jacket zipped up past his collar, he would take the elevator from his apartment to his simple blue Jetta. On the ride to work he would feel meaningful warmth spread through his chest, excitement for a new day to help those who need him.

His work made him happy. It made him feel purposeful, like this was his reason to keep on persisting. He had been working for the Washington DC suicidal hotline for three years, only having two weeks off to visit London for his father's matrimony to his stepfather. They had almost forgotten to invite him, but his brother hadn't failed to flood his texts asking what he was buying for the two.

At a stoplight he thought of his stepfather, Francis. He wasn't the type of man that he could ever in a lifetime imagine with his biological father, Arthur. That Englishman was the most stubborn, I'm-always-right-and-you-can-sod-off person that Matthew had ever laid eyes on. His brother became as arrogant as the man, yet he lacked the intelligence to go along with it.

He chuckled under his breath, pressing the gas to roll the car forward. No, he was the one to get the brains and his brother could keep the brawns.

Back onto his original thoughts, Francis was a suave egomaniac that had no trouble challenging Arthur's pigheadedness. Not only he was risky in his behavior toward Arthur's sensitive ego, but he also tested dangerous waters hitting on Matthew himself. The first time that he had met the French man he had brought the young Canadian into a loving hug. At least he thought it was a loving gesture until a hand had brushed the fabric on the back of his jeans.

He pulled up to his parking space with a snort. Dear lord the look on Arthur's face was horrifying. The man looked like a volcano about erupt…and Alfred's laughing hadn't helped the matter either.

"Matthew!" Was all the warning he received as he stepped into the building before being tackled into a hug by an overzealous Italian boy. However years of ice hockey had prepped him enough to be quick on his feet, plus keeping a surprising amount of balance when a body slams into yours.

"F-Feliciano," it wasn't easy to talk when you're being suffocated by one of your coworkers. Thankfully the young man got the hint, he pulled away and beamed cheerily, much different to Matthew's polite half-smile. He wondered idly if he ever smiled as brightly as Feliciano does on a daily basis.

"Guess what?" The brunet bounced on the balls of his heels like a hyperactive child. Feliciano reminded Matthew of a puppy that got into a trash bin of sugar. The blond set his bag onto his own station, Feliciano following him like the puppy he replicated.

"What?" Matthew looked at him with a cheeky kind of smile. Recalling the faint blush on olive skinned cheeks, he could guess this was about-

"Ludwig finally asked me on a date!" he squealed loudly, some of their coworkers' heads turning with annoyed looks. They all were speaking to some callers and Matthew knew how annoying it was to be interrupted, so he gave the best apologetic look he could.

He rested onto his rolling chair and looked up at Feliciano, grabbing his headset. "That's great Feli, I told you he was just shy. He just needed some time," he put the headset over his head and adjusted the microphone.

Feliciano huffed and stuck his tongue out, like a child. "Okay you were right," He drawled in a whining manner, "but just to let you know he's only shy around me. How can a personal trainer be shy? Anyhow I also wanted to ask you something." The Italian started to bounce with building excitement again, only this time he was biting his lip eagerly.

Matthew raised an eyebrow, "Go ahead."

"Would you want to maybe go on a double date with me and Ludwig this Friday? His brother is single and cute!" The littler bent at his waist and grabbed Matthew's shoulders, shaking him forward playfully with each word. "Ludwig didn't talk much about him actually, but going by the way Ludwig is, I'm guessing he has the same genes!"

"I-I don't know…You know I don't like blind dates." Matthew gently detached the Italian's hands from his body. "Besides, I haven't been having the best of luck with dating." He shuddered thinking about the Russian that had proved to be only a virus rather than a miracle. That was something he didn't need to repeat.

"I know, but please Matthew. I promise this would be the only date you would have to come on. You have nothing to lose!" he fell to his knees dramatically, folding his hands on top of Matthew's lap and making him blush furiously. "Please?"

Feliciano has to be a real puppy, no living human being can pull eyes like those. He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Fine. Text me the details."

The young man skipped up to his feet, leaning in and kissing Matthew on his cheeks. "Thank you thank you thank you! You wont regret it!"

He watched Feliciano's retreating back for a second before turning to the grey box that connected him with any individual that needed him. At least it's not another Friday alone.

He clicked the switch below the red blinking button. "Hello this is the DC suicidal hotline, my name is Matthew. Would you like to talk about something that's been troubling you?"

A tearful sob came from the other side, "…Y-Yes." A girl's voice answered. She sounded young, too young to be calling.

"Okay sweetheart, I'm right here."

Another sniffle, by the way she spoke it sounded like she was trying to keep herself from falling apart. Her voice would take on a winded and thin tenor, like if she breathed any deeper than small puffs of air, she would collapse by the weight. "I-I…I'm pre-preg-pregnant…"

"Go on sweetie, you're doing great. I promise I wont tell anyone, anything you say is just between you and me. Okay? I'm here." He said softly, this was a reoccurring case with many girls. They would get pregnant and the father would neglect her and the child, they would feel stuck and turn to the only route that would end all their problems. People can be blind to the other paths in life. Death isn't getting rid of your problems, it's giving them to someone else.

"That's," She breathed quickly, he could hear her deliberately not taking in a full breath, " That's not the prob-problem…its-the f-f-fathers my…" A sob had escaped her chest, one that sounded so anguished and hurt.

Matthew frowned sadly, "You can tell me anything honey. I promise no one will know about anything you say. You have my word. I'm here." He liked to remind the people he would speak to that he was there, actually listening to their cries of help.

"He's my tutor!" She shrieks into the phone, finally the seal that held her together breaking. She fell apart through the phone, crying and cursing and screaming, anything and everything that would help make her feel less bolted up inside her own sanity. He could tell this was the first time she had said anything to anyone about this.

Matthew sat straighter, he was prepared for instances like these. He took the procedures necessary, talking it through with the girl. He asked her meaningful questions that didn't dictate what she should do, but gave her the perspective of what she _could_ do and how it would help not only her, but also her child.

She is a human being that has a choice to make; Matthew will not force her to do anything she doesn't want to. He just wants to show her what she is capable of doing, people have more power than they are aware of and sometimes it takes one person to show them their paths and where they lead.

After an hour and half of speaking to the girl, she had come to the conclusion of telling her best friend's parents, rather than her own. It's a small step, but Matthew had great hopes for that girl. No one should be that scared and feel that small in such a big situation.

More calls poured in after that, he hated it. He could care less about the workload, but the fact that so many people call. So many people hurt and scared and confused, it was that dreadful amount of people that he hated. It gave light to the cruelty the world had. So many broken souls, so little people to help.

Feliciano had stopped by with some home cooked pasta, Matthew had forgotten to bring his own lunch today, and for that he was grateful and thanked him for having such wonderful timing. It had been 45 minutes and no one had called in yet.

This made him smile, for 45 minutes no one needed help. No one needed someone to cry to or to ask questions hoping for an answer that didn't leave them with more questions. He wanted it to stay like that for the next two hours of his workday.

Then the red light flickered, that damn light that lit up like the flame. In his years working at the hot line, the urge to smash that light had never diminished.

He sighed and flicked the switch. "Hello this is Matthew for the Washington DC suicidal hotline, is there anything you want to talk about that's troubling you?"

"Geez dude, with that lusty voice you would think this is a phone sex line." A man's snarky voice mocked.

…Okay that wasn't a usual response Matthew had ever gotten. "U-Um," He cleared his throat, hoping it would cover the utter shock in his voice. He knew it did a poor job, "Sir we really do not appreciate p-prank ca-"

"Woah! I'm not prank calling shit! Damn I was just messing with you, I really do have a problem…" The man's snide comments died into a trail of genuine sadness. Matthew's eyebrows knitted together, perhaps he shouldn't have jumped the gun.

"A-Ah, I'm sorry sir. Well can I start with your name?" He usually doesn't ask for names, but something compelled him to ask this time. He felt that with this certain man, becoming personal with him would be key for him to open up.

"Gilbert." It was a fast reply, but Matthew wasn't fazed by it.

"Okay Gilbert, well I'm Matth-"

"You said that already."

Matthew blinked, "O-Oh I'm sorry, I must have forgotten." He chuckled lightly. The voice on the other line just sighed though, which in turn made him stop.

"Is there anything you prefer to talk about Gilbert?" He asked sweetly.

"Well I called didn't I? Do you think I would call just to hear you breath?" He snapped, but he also ended in an odd laugh, almost sad. "So yeah, I think I want to talk about the fact that…"

Matthew nodded, unconsciously wanting the man to go on, "I'm here." He said without thinking.

There was stillness on the other line, like the man stopped breathing because of what he just said. Worried, Matthew was going to take it back, but Gilbert spoke before he could apologize. "…Thanks. I kind of wanted to talk about how, just how unawesome my life has become after my unawesome boyfriend left me."

"Okay, tell me about whatever makes you feel upset and I'll do my best to help."

A grunt, "Yeah, uh thanks kid. Anyway this asshole leaves me for this Hungarian bitch a few months back and ever since that I've been living in my brother's basement, cant hold a job for more than a week, cant socialize for shit because other people aren't as awesome as me, and…"

Matthew didn't say anything this time, instead, he waited for the man to bring himself the courage to say what needs to be said.

"…and my only friend is a stuffed yellow bird plush." It was a meek tiny voice compared to the self-absorbed boom from before, Matthew frowned sadly. This poor man, he wasn't scared or confused, he was just lonely. Matthew didn't know what was driving him, but he didn't _want_ to help this man, he /ineeded/i to.

"Its okay Gilbert, I'm here. You can tell me anything you want. We can talk for as long as you want, I don't mind. Okay?"

"Don't talk to me like a child!" The man growled, Matthew's eyebrows shot up.

"O-Oh, I-I'm sorry. I was just-"

Again the man sighed loudly, cutting Matthew off for what felt like the millionth time that day. "Listen kid, I just want someone to talk to okay. If you're not up for a job send me through to another guy. So just shut up and let me vent to you."

Matthew reeled back, he was perplexed by the blunt rudeness by this man. He was just trying to help…dear lord maybe there is no helping this man. He found himself actually afraid to speak up, like he's the one being treated like a kid. He swallowed thickly and chastised himself for being so silly. "What ever you prefer to do sir." The uneasiness was given away, making him reluctant to converse further.

"Good, now let me tell you about dick face McFucker, this _arschloch_. We were dating for four good years. We both lived in his house, which is huge as fuck, and I thought we were happy…" That tiny voice came back. He didn't sound like he was crying, but Matthew knew the difference between a person crying on the outside and a person crying on the inside. Surprisingly they aren't that different, except one is much more damaging.

Gilbert was definitely crying on the inside and those are the hardest type of people to help, because you cant wipe their tears away.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Matthew chewed on his lip, hoping that the man wouldn't hang up.

After seconds of reserved silence, "Yeah. He uh, he and this girl from his younger days got back in touch. They used to be married actually…I guess he wasn't over her or something and he kind of just told me to piss off. I-I didn't know where to go, so I just kind of went to my little _bruder's_."

Matthew hummed, "There's nothing wrong with going to family. I'm sure your brother is glad to help you." By some of the German vocab, plus a lingering accent on certain words, he must have been from Germany or Austria.

"Yeah I know, but still I feel like a loser or some shit. Plus that's not my biggest problem, its been like five months and I still haven't found some new tail, you know?"

Matthew almost nodded, it's become a habit. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I know this is o-off topic, but are you German?"

There was an angry huff, "No! Im Prussian! Prussia is more awesome than Germany!" He claimed happily, Matthew had never heard anyone so happy for his nationality, with the acceptation of his patriotic American brother.

Matthew laughed lightly, "My mistake, anyway why don't you try going to bars or social meets?" He suggested.

"I've tried! My brother says that I come off creepy and overly self-centered. I told him he's just being a dumkopf. I am the awesome Gilbert! No one can resist my charm! All of the cute boys and girls will bow to my awesomeness!"

Matthew nearly choked on his laughter. Gilbert went silent on the other line, but he was laughing too hard to notice. "I-I'm," He laughed again, "I-I'm sorry, you're just really funny…"

"You think _I'm_ funny?"

Matthew nodded, not realizing he did it again even though no one can see him. "Yes, you're very funny! I haven't laughed like that in a long time…"

"It's a nice laugh, you should laugh like that more often. Maybe if you talk to the awesome me you can laugh like that everyday!"

Matthew started to blush heavily. Something had changed in the conversation, but he couldn't pick out what it could have been. "I'm enjoying speaking with you Gilbert."

"…Ja me too, I-I mean to you…though."

It was almost 8 in the evening, the time that Matthew had to get off. He had been talking to Gilbert for the past hour and he was happy to say that the man was…wonderful. He had a charm and humor to him that was refreshing to Matthew. He hadn't had a conversation this enjoyable in a long time. It made him never want to end the call, but home was calling him.

The blond hummed happily, "Is there anything else you want to tell me before I go?"

There was a thick pause, "Nien, I think I feel much better now. But can I call you tomorrow?"

This time Gilbert didn't sound big or tiny, no he sounded like a hopeful and modest man. Matthew smiled, "Of course. Just call and ask who ever picks up to connect you to Matthew."

"Ja, I will. Danke Matthew."

His finger halfheartedly rested on the switch. "Tha-thank you Gilbert too, for talking to me I mean. Sleep well."


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys! I hope that you guys are enjoying reading this as much as im enjoying writing this :) Anyway are any of you guys Pendulum fans?! Because they're coming back with a new album inn 2014! Yay! Okay okay no more fangirling... . . eep!_

_Enjoy :)_

* * *

Thursdays were nothing special in Matthew's eyes. They could even be deemed as the second worst day of the week, first being Fridays. Thursdays were like the very tip of the 1000-meter cliff and Fridays were the jagged, rocky, and bone-crushing bottom. Saturdays had to be the after math of having a majority of limbs in your body shatter on impact. It was like this because every Friday at work, Matthew would witness his coworkers babbling about their weekends, what they'll do or even _who_ they'll do. Then there was Matthew, sitting and nodding along, thinking about an upcoming hockey game on the television or maybe the new soup he had been bold enough to buy.

The blind date hadn't crossed his mind though, but when it did, it brought clarity to the fact that he was more excited to go into work today, rather than the date tomorrow. He loved doing his job everyday, but he was inclined to admit that today was different. He hoped that today Gilbert would call like he promised.

When he woke up, there were no spiteful words to burrow into his head. In their place there was the recent memory of Gilbert's voice, how it could transition into the most lonesome cry for help to a loud a boisterous thunder of narcissism. While brushing his teeth his thoughts poured into Gilbert's words, the explanation of his life and reason for calling.

He wasn't going to commit suicide; he had clarified that after twenty minutes or so into their conversation. Matthew hadn't asked, but he knew Gilbert could tell what he was thinking during that time. No, the man just wanted someone to talk to.

Matthew knew that most people were lonely, it wasn't only him or Gilbert. Still Matthew couldn't explain how or why, but in a way he understood Gilbert's situation. Hopes of helping not only Gilbert, but also maybe himself had found their way into his heart.

The thing with Gilbert and Matthew is that they both are forgotten. Gilbert's boyfriend hadn't contacted him since they had separated (even though Gilbert had groused that he had tried calling and confronting the man) leaving him to be just a memory left to the dust. After that, the only other person Gilbert had any relationship was his brother.

He had mentioned something about two friends he had in elementary school, but he couldn't even remember their names. He just knew one moved to Spain and the other moved to France, leaving him like his ex did. Without reason.

"Matthew Williams," A condemning voice rumbled behind him from his workstation. He almost had his headset on when his boss, Roderick, had commanded his attention.

"Um, Yes sir?" He asked, twirling his chair around to look up at his superior.

The Austrian fixed his glasses, "Have you typed up the data sheet for this month?" He asked mundanely.

The flustered blond leafed through the papers in his suitcase, he had typed the thing the weekend before, but he had forgot to turn it in. He mentally kicked himself, this is the second time his boss had to personally remind him for the data sheet in all his years!

He wasn't a perfectionist, but he hated that forgetful side of him. He handed the paper to Roderick, who snatched it with a grumble and left. Matthew hadn't even noticed the held breath till it came out in a sigh, only to be sucked back in as a frightened gasp.

"Mattie!" Feliciano shouted happily and jumped on his lap, hugging the winded man closely. He pulled back and hopped up to his feet, his smile splitting his face. "Tomorrow is the day! You're still coming right?" His young tone pitched, like he expected Matthew to change his mind and say no.

"Yeah I'm still coming Feli, but I wish you could tell me more about this guy."

Feliciano rested his weight from foot to foot, "Oh thats a relief! Si si...all I can tell you is his name is Gilbert, but that's all I'm telling you!" Feliciano didn't want to admit he had been too preoccupied to ask Ludwig more about his brother. It was hard for him to remember things when Ludwig was around, it's like his whole brain turned into spaghetti!

_Gilbert? Thats funny..._ "Oh that reminds me, I have to get to work as soon as possible. I promised to talk to someone today. Thanks though for the 'secret' information." He smiled politely and watched Feliciano skip away after chirping a 'prego'.

The red light flickered on and his workday began.

The first caller was a young middle school boy who was having trouble with bullies. Matthew's always been sensitive to the mention of bullies; he didn't always have his brother to defend him in high school. Using his own personal experiences, he spoke to the child and aided him through the proper way to deal with the bullies. Going to someone could only make matters worst, but if he showed the other boys that their taunting had no effect, then they would leave him alone. Their whole purpose was to torment until they got a reaction. If the circumstances were physical, he should fight back, and in no way let them hurt him. That lasted for an hour, by the end the boy was blubbering through tears and thanking Matthew greatly. The Canadian felt a fond warmth spread into his chest.

The next caller was a girl, he couldn't tell the age, and nevertheless she revealed to be in college. She explained how her weight was a constant problem in her mind, she felt trapped and there was no escape. Her insecurities were holding all her other thoughts prisoner, Matthew again could relate. So he voiced his thoughts on how she should love herself, take every flaw in her image and use it as strength. Whatever difference she had should make her unique, not ugly. It took some time to convince her that taking her life wouldn't help her or the people around her, but she caved in and accepted the fact that she would only be hurting others. Matthew hoped the girl would eventually learn to accept herself as well. Thats one thing he always hated, not knowing...

The third caller was another girl…when Matthew picked up, a wave of sobs and shrill cries met his ears. "Come on sweetheart, tell me what's wrong." He pled, "Talk to me sweety."

Between the deep gasps for breath, he could make out the words 'Failure', 'Useless', and lastly 'Alone.' She shouted into the receiver, "_I took the pills! I took the fucking pills!_"

"O-Okay, sweetheart, I'm calling the police now. Where are-" His heart stopped.

The line went dead. He didn't have an address.

In a blend of instinct and fear, he propelled himself to his feet so fast his chair fell to the floor, and ran to the central tracing system. He found his number and checked the recent call, finding the phone number and copying it onto a piece of paper hastily. He grabbed the phone on the wall and dialed 911, his words coming out of him in an anxious rush. "Please just trace the number and send help!" The operating woman complied slowly, "Thanks-Please hurry!"

Roderick and Feliciano, as well as some other coworkers, stood behind him when he hung up. They had come to see what the commotion was about, but with the obvious tear streaks down his cheeks, even Feliciano could tell what had happened.

"She…" he didn't even realize he was crying, "She's going to be okay." He said to himself, then repeating it in a distressed whisper as he moved past everyone and back to his station. Feliciano followed behind, but not as closely as he usually did. He knew that when things like these happen to give Matthew some space.

"Are you alright Matthew? Roderick asked me to tell you that you can leave early if you want." The brunet's brows drew together with worry stranded into his honey eyes.

Matthew took a few long breaths, while the shrieks of the girl resonated in his mind. He closed his eyes and forced his head to shake and decline the offer. This has happened before and going home would only make things worst. He needed to work to take his mind off of everything. He needs to just distract himself; at home he would only be swamped in thoughts of the girl and his own incompetence.

He didn't really hear what Feliciano said afterwards, but he could feel him leave, and for that he was greatful.

It took roughly fifteen minutes of focusing on his breathing and where the air traveled down his body before he could put the headset over his head. "Um M-Mister Williams?" A meek voice sounded quietly beside him.

Lilly Zwingli shyly held out a post it note for him, he looked at the yellow paper and then the girl questioningly before taking it. "A-a man na-named Gilbert was trying to contact you."

Matthew's eyebrows rose, "Oh thanks Lilly." She did a small courtesy and left.

He looked at the digits on the paper and dialed it on his own number pad, his hands lightly shaking. "Ja?" Gilbert's rusty voice buzzed through his headset.

"Hi Gilbert. Its Matthew," He said, his approach to a greeting was withdrawn.

"Oh, hey. I called you like twice and everyone said you were busy,"

He was silent, trying to block out the fresh memories. "I was with some other people who needed help."

"Mm, ja I know. You sound upset, tell me whats wrong." The stranger on the other line sounded genuinely worried, for some unknown reason, Matthew felt guilty. He shouldn't be burdening this man, plus wasn't it _his_ job to listen to people's problems? Compared to so many people he converses with daily, his problems were mere annoyances.

He laughed breathily, "I think that's my line."

"Ja I know, but you sound really upset. Plus I might as well return the favor for helping me yesterday."

Matthew sighed, "I-If you want to know so badly, the reason I couldn't talk before was because I was helping- or trying to- help a girl who had just…" His hand balled into fists.

_Useless, terrible, pathetic…_

"Mattie? You still there?"

Matthew's eyes flew open, "U-Uh yeah, sorry. As I was saying I was trying to help this girl who tried k-killing herself, but b-before I could even get her a-address…she hung up. I traced the n-number and sent it to the local p-police, but I don't…" He trailed off, a hard lump in his throat constricting the words to flow out.

_Loveless, pitiful, sad, lonely, hopeless-_

"Hey…You know when I was younger I...had a pet bird." Gilbert started on the other line, forcing Matthew's attention onto the smooth low baritone of his voice. "His name was Gilbird and I took him everywhere with me. It was my younger brother that found the poor thing in our backyard. but it had a broken leg. For three days I fed him and took care of the little thing until it was well enough to land on one foot."

Matthew's little sniffles were the only indication that he was still on the line. The tiny ever-growing smile on his face was the only indication that he was recovering happily.

"One day I couldn't find him. He usually rests in my hair or shoulder, but that day he wasn't even in my house. I remember running outside with my little brother and asking him to help me look, and let me tell you we had cleared a whole one mile radius, but we couldn't find him."

Matthew's breath hitched, his eyes drawing downward, he hoped the story would have a happy ending.

"We never found Gilbird and I never knew what happened to him, but I have a theory," Gilbert's tone lifted to something that made Matthew almost melt. He sounded so happy and confident as he finished, "I think he flew away. Somewhere happy and filled with other Gilbirds and became the ruler of all Gilbirds!" His cackle was contagious and Matthew couldn't help but join in.

He hadn't noticed the tears that sprung into his eyes for the second time that day, but even when he did, he didn't care..


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey guys _

_sorry for the wait, but school started so :P_

_Anyway i'm sorry this isn't the date chapter, but next chapter it will be! _

_-hope you enjoy! _

* * *

Rainy days were his favorite type of days. Well it was his second favorite type of weather after snow, but that's why rain was so wonderful. It was the closest thing to snow that autumn could muster up with gray clouds and cozy days.

Matthew took advantage of the view from the glass balcony doors to watch the small droplets pour down. Instead of reading a chapter from his self-help book, the rain provided a comfort that the book could never provide, no matter how many therapists approved of it.

He sighed, a blissful smile curved around the edges of his coffee mug and swallowed the warm, sugary drink. A wonderful morning to start an incongruity of a day, not to say he would feel it would be a bad one, but it definitely was out of the ordinary for him.

As much as he loved the rain, driving in it was a huge chore. He thanked his wit that persuaded him to leave the apartment twenty minutes earlier than usual. The traffic was much longer than any other normal workday.

He leaned further back into his seat, better get comfortable with the looks of things. The cars' horns melded with the soft voice on the radio. He wondered lazily what he would wear to the dinner tonight. Should he be casual? Or would he be too underdressed…is it worst to be underdressed or overdressed?

The Canadian groaned, he didn't even want to go! He grumbled to himself about 'damn Italians with adorable faces'. He wasn't prepared for this date, he cant even choose what to wear! Maybe he could still back out…

But Feliciano was his only friend, he didn't want to ruin his chances with Ludwig...He wondered what Gilbert would think of him, going out with another man named Gilbert. He would probably say something like 'There is no other Gilbert more awesome than me!' and laugh.

Matthew smiled as he lifted his foot off the break to roll the car forward; he wished that he could skip out on tonight. It wasn't like he wanted to meet new people, its just he would rather know what he's getting himself into.

Plus there was an overwhelming discomfort somewhere deep in his chest, a pain akin to betrayal.

Would Gilbert think he was weird or awkward for not wanting to go? He seemed like the type of person who likes spontaneous things like blind dates. What would Gilbert do if he knew about the date? Knowing his own luck, Gilbert would gladly want Matthew to go. He probably wouldn't even care and then Matthew would just sound like some whiney girl with dating problems. His chest twisted and with a saddened frown he parked his car into his reserved space.

Gilbert only likes him because he listens to him, he might even be laughing at Matthew behind his back. He probably thinks the Canadian is pathetic, spending his time trying to help people when he can't even help himself...

"Mattie Mattie Mattie!" A far-too-excited Italian bounced in front of him as he set his bag down next to his station. "Are you excited for tonight?"

Matthew forced a modest smile and nodded stiffly, "Yeah, at Morton's right?"

Feliciano nodded in clarification, "Si!" He grabbed onto the blonde's hands, "I can't thank you enough for doing this and I promise you wont regret it!"

Without waiting for a response, his best friend had skipped back to his own station. He wondered how the brunette could even be so cheerful after working such a heart-wrenching job. Sometimes Matthew can't get to sleep because of what he does.

Calls had poured in like the rain outside, it was a much more busy time when it rained, which made Matthew think; would people be this sad by the rain if they looked at it like the way he does? If people found the comfort that rain gave him, he bet they wouldn't be sad by it, but in fact welcome it.

After a few hours, Gilbert's call had been transferred to his own line.

"Hey birdy." The man said with a casual sigh. "Shitty weather today, huh?"

Matthew pursed his lips, "Actually I love the rain. Its cozy and relaxing."

Gilbert's cackle brought an unnoticed smile to his face, "I should have thought you would say something like that. 'S cute."

Red flared on Matthew's cheeks, he nearly started to choke, but calmed himself with a few breaths. "I am _not_ cute!" He huffed, "I am a-a…uh, manly…bear wrestling...man!" He cursed the high girly pitch in his voice.

He could feel the amusement emanating from the other line, "Uh huh…_You_ wrestle bears?"

"In fact I do! Not just any bears, polar bears!" He exclaimed with enthusiasm.

Gilbert's laugh resonated through his ears and into his heart, warming it with a certain fondness. "Well that explains why they're endangered. This just in, the great Matthew wrestles polar bears into extinction!"

They both fell into a chorus of laughter, feeling delighted by each other's company. Matthew was comfortable; he had no lonesome thoughts clouding his mind while he spoke with Gilbert. He felt like a pristine soul, rid of its dirt and grime. He felt new and happy.

His life revolved around negativity, his job relied on negativity and trying to cope with it. It wasn't as though he didn't choose this path, but he didn't exactly expect his own life to be in a dreary state as well.

He didn't know he was the one crying for help until it came in the form of a baritone voice and an unknown face. Then it came to him, the familiar pain in his chest...it was for Gilbert.

He liked Gilbert, he didn't want to meet anyone else. Gilbert was what he needed and what he wanted. He wanted to go on that date with _his_ Gilbert, not the one that he was set up with. But who is to say that Gilbert likes him back? He doubted the man even wanted to meet him let alone date him...

After fifteen minutes in to their conversation, Matthew finally worked up the courage to admit to his plans for the evening. This was his key to finding out if he was doing the right thing. He had to do this.

"Gil," He breathed, "I-I'm going on a-a date with some…guy I don't know tonight…" His body went tense while he held his breath for a reaction.

"…I," He could hear Gilbert breath out, "I understand." He ended.

Matthew's eyebrows furrowed as confusion played though his mind. "But-but I don't think I even want to go!" He hurriedly sputtered out.

"Go." Gilbert said harshly. Not even a moment passed before he continued, but with a softer tone, "You should be happy with other people. People you can meet and get to know face to face. You should take any opportunity for happiness Birdy." His voice trailed into that heart breaking small voice.

Matthew's mouth hung open, "But I li-"

"Matthew Williams!" His Austrian boss spat grimly behind his chair.

His heart fell to his feet, this couldn't be happening now! He bit his lip, "Hold on Gil," He tapped the button on the desk to put the call on hold. With only the squeak of his chair turning, he looked up at his disapproving boss. The aristocratic man had his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed angrily. "Yes Mr. Edelstein?"

"Tell me Williams, is it not improper to speak to friends while on the job?" His hips cocked to one side and he cradled his cheek in the palm of his hand.

Matthew's eyes widened, "No, but sir, he-"

"This is your first and last warning Williams. If I catch you again, you are done. Got it?" The Austrian threatened with a sharp tongue.

He wanted to speak up, to explain to the Austrian that Gilbert wasn't his friend…but he knew that he was caught. Matthew's shoulders fell in defeat and he nodded, "Got it." He whispered back to himself.

Roderick huffed and mumbled, "Get back to work." Matthew looked at the man until he past a corner into his own office. Once the sight was clear, he twirled back around.

He took the call off of hold, "Gilbert? Are you still there?"

Blank static poured into his ears. No voice, small or outstanding, answered back.

After reaffirming the date with Feliciano at the end of the day, Matthew set back home to choose a casual outfit. The rain had stopped some time ago, leaving only grey clouds and distant sounds of thunder.


End file.
